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There will be struggles in marriage and childrearing whether or not he is a member.
I also definitely don't want her raising my future children, though, and I'll be very clear about that. Thirty years ago I converted a guy and then dumped him for a returned missionary from an established LDS family.
Thanks for pointing this stuff out.
But I am really in love with him, and see him as a wonderful man. I had some idea of his life at the time of wedding, but this is tough.